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  • Viv

Embracing Your True Self: A journey of Self-Discovery After 40

Updated: Feb 11, 2023



Life after 40 doesn't come with instructions. It should, but that leaves out all the fun and uncertainty. Who doesn't love uncertainty? (insert sarcasm) When I turned 40, I somehow thought life would be better, that I would somehow let go of some of my hangups. In a sense, I felt that once I was forty, I would understand who I was and what I wanted better. Instead, what resulted was a period of many self-doubts, feeling stuck, and the realization that I had been living life to meet others' expectations and not prioritizing my needs.

As I emerge from this fog, I start understanding that to have the life I want, I need to understand who I am and what I want; this is easier said than done. I'm sure many of you can relate to this experience.

There is still a great deal of living when we reach the second half of life and congratulate ourselves for making it this far.

Getting to know the Who Will Get you to the What: Understanding Self

Life after 40 is a time to re-evaluate your choices and aspirations. It is time to be clear on your likes, dislikes, values, strengths, weaknesses, and what brings you comfort.

Ask yourself what you would do if money weren't an issue.

Imagine what your life would be like if you weren't afraid of failing.

It is a time for self-awareness and introspection. One way to start doing the work is to journal your feelings for a week. Then take it the next step further, and ask yourself, how do you connect with others? What is the health are your relationships?

Let Go of Expectations

As a young girl, I often heard you are smart; you can be a doctor or a lawyer. Get yourself a "good job" that pays the bills. Don't dream too much, be a realist. Others influenced me in my young adulthood, and I forgot to ask myself what I wanted. We already have enough societal expectations about womanhood, motherhood, career, and love. Society tells us who and what to be in those arenas. Societal expectations can shape our goals and desires and impact our journey.

Life after 40 is a time to let go of these expectations and begin listening to your voice. It's essential to break free from these expectations and pursue what truly matters to you.

For me, it was starting this blog and sharing my musings with my friends, family, and the interweb!

Prioritize Your Passions and Dreams regardless of your age.

Take steps to understand what you want out of life, which relates to understanding yourself. List the things you enjoy that you like. Also, list the things you don't. What have you achieved? As women, we often minimize our accomplishments. We tend to make ourselves look small. Stop. List all of it!!! Did you run a 5k? Incredible. Did you raise your children while earning your master's degree? Please write it down!

Pat yourself on the back for all that you have done and marvel at the beautiful being of you. Prioritize the things you'd like to pursue and write out goals. I will link my previous post on resolutions and good reads to motivate you and write SMART goals.

Embrace the Journey

Focus on the process and not the goal. Work on changing those things that are within your control. Love and Self-Acceptance of who you are and where you are is the first step to creating the life you want.

There is a whole lot of living left for us. It's time to seize the moment and enjoy the ride.


Love,

Viv

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